I am tapping into my Richmond mom entrepreneur pool again to bring you another AMAZING guest for today’s episode. I am joined by Jammie Baker, a personal stylist who pivoted her career after realizing how difficult it was to navigate style postpartum herself! She aims to empower busy moms with confidence to crush their everyday goals through curated wardrobes. 

Jammie tells me about her career path, which included jumping from one full time job to another, but always being pulled back to fashion. She also gives us three things you need to do/know when styling yourself (and it’s not all about the clothes themselves)! One of my favorite pieces of wisdom (and there were TONS in this episode) was when she talked about being honest with yourself, shifting your mindset (similar to Ilana from Stylish Spoon) and making sure your style aligns with who you are and who you want to be. She encourages us to learn from other people, soak up what you can, and then pass it along so others can learn from you, which I found super insightful and selfless!

You are going to learn SO MUCH more than styling tips — but don’t worry, they’re in here too! — in this episode. I know you are going to love Jammie’s energy, life story and outlooks just as much as I did. Make sure to check out her website, Facebook Group, Instagram and her Style Guide. PLUS — head to danagrahamphotography.com/guests-offers for a special code just for my listeners!

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Full Transcript:

Dana:  Are you dying at the thought of missing a single one of your baby’s first would have no idea how you’d give up the security that your nine to five job brings.

My name is Dana Graham and I had no clue how to escape that vicious 40 Hour Workweek cycle either until I did, as the wife of a traveling husband and mom of two tiny humans, I made the terrifying and totally bizarre leap from health insurance broker to successful newborn and family photographer, all with the amazing craziness of a two year old and the newborn in tow. But I’m not the only one. I’m so glad you’re joining me as I chat with other moms who took the leap into entrepreneurship and created the ultimate best of both worlds life doing it all amidst the chaos.

Okay everybody, welcome back. We’re here for another episode of amidst the chaos. Today I have on Jamie Baker, who is another one of my Richmond area. Friends, I feel like I’ve infiltrated into the to the kind of Richmond outskirts scene with all these mom entrepreneurs so I’m super excited to have her on so welcome Jamie.

Jammie: Thank you for having me. I’m happy to be here.

Dana: First off, tell us what you do now, So that we can then rewind and see what the finish line is going to look like.

Jammie: I am currently a personal stylist for moms, and my business is 100% virtual.

Dana: So cool. I love that I feel like in this day and age to work for yourself and to have something be 100% virtual is like the best of all worlds. So tell us how you got started. Where were you, you know, where did you start in the corporate world and how did you get to where you are now.

Jammie: Okay, so my story is a little bit long, but 

Dana: That’s fine. We like it. 

Jammie: We’ll start at 30 I was married, previously, and about to turn 30 got divorced, was working a regular nine to five job, and hit with divorce papers and turning 30 at the time you’re supposed to like have your 2.5 Kids and white picket fence house and I was looking at losing everything and I feel like I got evicted from life, essentially how I was running a little boutique on the side, so I was designing like T shirts and trying to get my foot in the door of the fashion world I was traveling up to New York. It was when blogging really started getting big in 2011 And so I was connecting with fashion bloggers and just trying to figure out what that was gonna look like. And then I got hit with divorce papers and like I left Richmond, with my dog, mellow French bulldog and two bags and that was it. And I was about to turn 30 And I was like okay this is not the way life is supposed to go, moved in with my mom shared a bedroom with my 13 year old sisters was like 13 going on 30 But in real life, and was like this, I have to figure something out. I’m searching online for jobs and like the fashion world I think while I was living with my mom, I was working for Coach part time just trying to stay in that whole genre of fashion.

Dana: Okay, so sorry to interrupt when you were in Richmond married were you working like a non fashion related corporate job 

Jammie: correct I was work okay. I had a day job and a side hustle.

Dana: Oh, gotcha. Okay cool, and so you had always been interested in fashion,

Jammie: Yes, I always been interested in I was the predominant every birthday, my mom I kind of blame it on her. She got me a new outfit every year for my birthday and I just felt like putting on an outfit was something so special and like the first day of school, and I’ve always wanted to take those feelings and bring it into everyday life and like have that silver lining of your ordinary day and make it a little bit extraordinary and I knew from a very young age that could be done with clothing. So I’ve always tried to keep my hand in it but never knew where I belong, because I wasn’t in New York City. At the time, that’s where everything happened and when it was time to go to college, you could go to college for either fashion design, Which I don’t so and I don’t draw and have 00 interest in or Merchandising, and I have zero interest in merchandising stylists was not a thing. So I just went on to like I’ve done every job under the sun, I’ve tried nursing and I tried doing nails and I was an aesthetician and I like tried to hold on to the fashion industry in little ways with the beauty industry, and I never clicked for me. So then I started designing T shirts while I had a nine to five job. That was like a long story. Sorry. 

Dana: No, no no no, I appreciate it and it’s good to have the clarity because I feel like so many people do have quite a roller coaster to kind of get where they’re going to be, and it’s encouraging because I feel like even in my head, okay I had so many ideas of what I could do to get out of my nine to five and for me I didn’t have a passion like you do with fashion, but I think a lot of people who are searching for something that isn’t a corporate job, try a bunch of different things and then they say, okay I tried all these things I can’t keep trying stuff, I need to figure it out but I think you saying that you’ve done all these things shows that you can do you absolutely can keep trying,

Jammie: you really can and when I finally decided, or didn’t even decide I was just like a styling thing that a job that I could have I entered a contest at 29 at the local mall, and I was the oldest person. Everyone else was like 1822 I don’t win anything, ever. Right, he was taking it was a styling contest that like lined up with Fashion Week somehow but it was in Richmond, Virginia and I was like, okay, big deal. I’ll try this out I’m not gonna win I don’t win anything. Well, I took it really seriously and instead of me putting together clothes on me, I hired a videographer to do my video for the contest I hired a makeup artist hairstylist and a model. So I dressed the model and I was like I’m gonna treat this like this was my job, and I wanna, and I also wore a dress from the store that one of the judges Oh, you have to be really intentional about meeting people. And so wearing, I got to wear something from the store and then I also dressed my model in something from the store, and I won and that was my first inclination that this could be a job, I guess I’m good at this styling thing and maybe it’s really a thing. So when I got the divorce papers, it was kind of my theory go here’s an open door one, door closes one door opens, would have that not have happened. I probably would have never taken the chance I would have always designed some cheesy T shirts on the side and like just kind of did it a little bit just to appease that creative side of myself but I would have never thought I could make a living from it had the doors not completely closed. And so, once those doors closed and I kind of just started googling stylists, how do you become a stylist, what is this Do I have to go back to college or at 30 Like what am I going to do here and there was a school in Hollywood, and I was living with my mom in Seattle, Washington, and I bought a car for $2,000 I spent basically all of my money, but this old Jeep Cherokee, packed on my two bags in my dog and drove down to California and paid for school, I cleared out my entire savings, got a job at Nordstrom as a stylist and I just wanted that experience just getting your foot in the door and having some sort of an experience in what you’re passionate about, is so important because you learn different aspects so I learned retail styling. And because I was in Los Angeles, I was able to work directly with brands and representatives and go to fashion shows and as a stylist for Nordstrom, so I got a lot of hands on training there, and then went to school, and then they open the doors to all of the celebrity styling so I did editorial and I did red carpet and television and commercials and I mean anything you could think of in the Hollywood realm, I’ve been hands on with and gotten to work in that, and I just really built, kind of a resume on styling for three years between working retail, and doing interning and then moving up to assisting and then when you kind of work a few years you’re like okay I either need to make this a business or not. And I had like less than zero interest in working in Hollywood is not me, I don’t enjoy it. Right, so I decided I need to just move somewhere where I can be like with down to earth people and do this in a different area and I all of a sudden started loving country music. Out of nowhere, it was like 2000 I don’t know 14 Or something in 2015 I moved to Nashville, it’s like I’m going to work in country music, and I’m going to style country music quickly found out that country music is like a wanna be Hollywood scene. It’s almost worse because there’s a little bit of, I don’t know it’s like I want to be Hollywood so I’m going to act even more like make up for the fact that we’re not Hollywood by acting diva, and it just was not my thing so I was like, Okay, great. Where do I go now. And I was 32 by that time, so don’t have to be 20 You don’t have to have it all together and you can try a lot I mean I tried. Literally everything I can think of in the styling world, before I ended up where I am today.

Dana: Yeah and I think if you hadn’t been in LA. Do you think that you would have been able to get the opportunities that you did have there and like be able to realize that this is something you wanted to do like do you think, for someone that’s saying hey, I’d like to get into styling like I love this, this is what I love. Do you think somebody could do it from, you know, a small town in the Midwest, do you think that that was pivotal to be in LA, or did moving around kind of show you that I probably could have done this from anywhere. 

Jammie: Okay, well this was back, I moved to LA in 2012, so that’s before the virtual world became such a thing. True, true. Back then, back then. No, you did have to either be in Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta, New York or Nashville for this to be a thing. Today the school actually that I went to is only virtual so you can do it from literally anywhere, but there’s still the thing where, if that’s the kind of styling you want to do, like Hollywood editorial, you have to have a market for that. I currently live in Richmond, Virginia, there’s no market, I could not make a living doing that here. So, it depends on which avenue if you want the experience for Hollywood type of styling you have to be in Hollywood or editorial right. I was also an executive assistant to someone who worked for a major fashion company during my time in LA, and we from Nordstrom to working for her to figure out another end of the fashion world. Okay, do I like what she’s doing. And we traveled between LA and New York, so I got a chance to style in my off hours, I basically feel like I worked for 24 hours a day for years. It sounds like styling in New York and Los Angeles because of her connections. So, yes, depending on what you want to do it is, it is necessary to be in the right arena, I would travel a lot, a lot of shoots happen in Las Vegas, like I did an NBA Olympics commercial that we shot in Las Vegas at the college there but on the commercial if you watched it, it looked like it was Staples Center. So you have to be in close proximity to these places and that’s the kind of work you want to do. I knew from the beginning, I just wanted that experience because I was younger, I was a lot older than most people in that career path, but for me I was younger and I was single and I had the time and I was in the space and I’m from Los Angeles so I lived a family at the time so I I wasn’t paying crazy, Los Angeles price, rent, while never being home, So I got to live with family and just kind of figure out what I want to do.

Dana: Yeah and I think the whole age thing, in general, it doesn’t matter right your age definitely doesn’t matter I think more what matters is the season of life, if you were a little bit older but you were single and you knew that you had a passion and something that you wanted to pursue and that was really, really important to you, you would kind of, you know, done the marriage thing and you wanted to focus on something else, but I think for somebody who was maybe married younger. If you do need to up and move to Los Angeles, if you want to be in that Hollywood scene, you might have to wait a little bit till you can get there, but then age still doesn’t really matter, right as long as you’re in a season of life where you can commit the time and commit, you know the energy and bring that passion to it then the age really doesn’t matter it’s more where you are in the season of your life with your family and your freedoms there.

Jammie: Yeah, like today I couldn’t do that unless I wanted to give up my life and I don’t want to do that. Right, right. 

Dana: Okay, so at this point you’re in Nashville you figure out, no, no, I can’t do this, scrappy sort of Hollywood Life here in Nashville, what did you do from there,

Jammie: I was like, Oh my God, should I have stayed I left all my friends like what am I doing, and I came to Richmond for a friend’s 30th birthday, and met my husband, my now. 

Dana: Okay, so you are in Richmond originally when the story started.

Jammie: Yes, okay, okay. I moved here with my first husband when I was 22 I think 20

Dana: Okay, okay, so you’re used to the Richmond scene when you came to this party like you knew what Richmond was about you’d been there for a while, 

Jammie: yes previously.

Jammie: Okay, got it, got it. Yeah, I’ve lived in Seattle area, Richmond area Los Angeles, where I was born. All twice. I’ve circled the United States, and then that little like six months down in Nashville, yeah. 

Dana: Oh my gosh that is too funny. Okay, so you came and you and you met your husband at a party so what happened from there,

Jammie: I met my husband, we were out to dinner, and my friend sent my now husband a text and said Jamie is here and we were both divorced within the last five years we had known each other before. Do you want to make. Do you want me to make the story even crazier, I planned his wedding. I was a wedding planner for a while, so I knew him, but I was married at the time and he was getting married. I was just, it’s not like the wedding planner movie with Jennifer Lopez right like I hadn’t seen him or talked to him we weren’t even Facebook friends like I had no idea what he was doing, and my friends sent him a picture of me and she was like, Do you want to meet us for dinner tomorrow night so she invited him and me and that was that. So, yeah.

Dana: Wow. And so you met at that point and then did you end up just staying in Richmond, did you go back to Nashville,

Jammie: I went back to Nashville. We dated for a little while and I was, had my little car that I bought while I was in Los Angeles and definitely stuck out like a sore thumb in Richmond, but it worked perfectly for like that little 10 hour drive that I would do so. All right, I would not do now, but when you’re single. Okay, we would each drive back and forth for a few months, and a few months into it, I came to Richmond and I was like you know I really I found I connected with a church here and got another nine to five job that I hated with all of everything in me. And I was like I have to make it work. I’m not moving here for a guy, right, I got the nine to five, that I knew would allow me stability, and then had business cards printed, and it’s like, Alright, I’m the stylist, this is what I’m going to go do. So yeah I did end up moving here like 2015.

Dana: Okay, And so in that process of the move you said, Alright, I’m going to work the nine to five because I need the stability, I need to have something to count on not moving for a guide, but I’m also going to like go ahead and proclaim that, hey, I’m also a stylist and this is happening.

Jammie: Yes and I think that is was really important in the process was like this is what I want to do. And I didn’t try to move up any sort of corporate ladder I got a job at Capital One working at the bottom like I wasn’t trying to make that my career. I wanted it to be as mindless as possible so that I could at lunchtime I would work on my business, I would come to work dressed for the job I wanted to dress like a stylist so if anyone asked me I had a business card and this is what I do, I would take speaking engagements for different companies, talking about how to get dressed. I would ask friends if I could style them I put thumbtack was a big thing then and I would put, I would get clients off of thumbtack, and that’s when I was like okay personal styling is my jam. This is so much better and so much more rewarding than Hollywood styling because when you’re the help they don’t want to wear that they don’t want your help, you’re helping them to make money they have to be there, the days are so long, Right, it’s so ridiculous you have a room, the size of my office, I did a Neutrogena commercial for Neutrogena commercial they were a white tank top, a nude bra and white pants. Do you know that I would have had to have like hundreds of white tank tops, hundreds of white pants. Oh my god, Dozens of bras, just for this one shot that’s a 32nd commercial, and they didn’t care, they didn’t want to be there, they don’t want to try on 200 white tank tops, do you want to turn into underweighting tops.

Dana: Yeah and you didn’t want to find 200 white tank tops, because it’s so boring.

Jammie: Yeah, that was not there was no creativity, You did what they told you to do. And then when I discovered, okay I can do this on a personal level, and I was styling anyone, men, women, their children like it didn’t matter. I just wanted the experience and the men are so easy to sell you put something on them, you tell them they look good, they will go get a date a new job, the competence level and then if you want to be in the styling lifestyle a few men because they will give you the confidence to be like, This is amazing if you tell them they look good, they will go out and tell everyone you did a great job. This is why I look good. I got a new girlfriend I got a job, I’m making more money, and they will change their whole lives and like competence and wow when I tell women it’s like, Are you sure this isn’t couldn’t be better. It’s not perfect. It’s a whole different mindset which is a whole nother subject and its own but yeah, it’s mind blowing, how much competence dialing a few men who are looking to level up their style and get new jobs and find girlfriends. That gave me a lot of confidence and I just started being a part of people’s lives changing, and that meant so much to me. One of my first clients here, her husband hired me as a birthday present because she had been wearing nursing bras for two years, their baby was two. She wasn’t nursing, and he was like, Can you help me. She got pregnant again, they did not plan on having another baby, but shortly after, because she wasn’t wearing nursing bras and she wasn’t wearing sweatpants, she got pregnant, her husband was a guy who’s this lady. And their whole life changed, like their relationship changed her confidence at work changed she now owns her own practice. It was incredible to be a part of this change for good in everyone’s lives. I was like this is what I have to do. It was motivation every day when I went to this job that was life sucking, I would say to myself, I’m grateful for this job, I am grateful for this opportunity because it’s gonna lead to war, and pretty soon I got to not do that anymore. After weekends and nights of styling.

Dana: Okay, you said you were doing speaking engagements and whatever you could get your hands on how were you marketing yourself like did you go ahead and build a website what was happening at that time that made made it possible for you to market yourself

Jammie: I kind of sort of built a website, I think I had a website like a really bad one. Just super based on the website. I am shameless about pitching myself always have been, it’s not a problem for me, which was one of the things that catapulted me into this actually when I have won that, that styling contest. I was like, you know, I kind of want to be on TV, there’s people that talk about style on TV and who hasn’t heard of what not to wear that was my favorite show and I was like, Oh, if I make over stuff on TV that would be fun. I would just get these crazy ideas and then I would pitch them and it worked, and I would be like. And then I get scared, so I pitched myself to a local TV show and I was like, Hey, I just won this contest, I think you should have me on I could talk about this and they were like, Okay, can you come, and it was a week later and do this, I was like, You must be mistaken because I’ve never been on TV. I don’t know what to do, how do I even get started in this, and I had to like learn the style world, really quickly I contacted the News host Leon Vasquez. I reached out to her because she wasn’t a big name yet, but I had been following her and she gave me all these tips for going on TV. And then she hired me to write fashion blogs for her to get my foot in the door. So, while I was doing all these corporate and crazy jobs I was doing a lot of behind the scenes were to have like writing blogs for people and getting tips from mentors and just gaining as much knowledge as possible. And it all paid off in the end and pitching myself ruthlessly like if you want to do something, tell somebody want to do it, and you’re gonna find someone to support you. You’re gonna get nose, and it sucks, but you’re gonna get yeses that surprised the heck out of you like when they said yeah you can come on to me. So over the years, I’ve done so many TV segments. And now I kind of turn them down because they don’t really make me any money so they’re not really worth my time anymore, I’ve done it I did it for the resume, you have to do what you have to do for the resume, you have to

Dana: right. 

Jammie: And it’s not fun. When I would find myself complaining about buying, you know, 100 white tank tops for Kerry Washington for the Neutrogena commercial my friends would remind me because I wasn’t getting paid for that. Jamie. Do you know how many women would do anything to be in your position right now and you’re acting ungrateful and so grateful. Gratitude was just like the grounding for everything I did. Be grateful when you’re in the crappy season be grateful when you’re in the hustle be grateful when you’re in the trenches of it, and schlepping things and doing the dirty work because it’s part of who you need to be, it’s gonna build the character and the work ethic for who you need to be, and you will I don’t schlep things around anymore, you eventually get to the point where you don’t have to do that.

Dana: Yeah and I think knowing that, knowing and listening to these stories of these women that I’m interviewing, it is very clear you are working 24 hours a day like I’m confused as to when you shut your eyes because it sounds like just so much but, clearly you are a perfect message of how it pays off and how keeping on doing that work doing the hustle doing the grind is going to pay off eventually. And I think once you get there and you can be more picky and a little bit more choosy about the things that you do. It gives you even another boost of confidence that you don’t necessarily need but it is one of those kind of aha moments of like okay, I’m good. I’ve settled in, I can say no to things and be okay with that. Yeah, so when you were pitching yourself and doing all these pitches What gave you that confidence like what allowed you to be able to say hey this is what I do, you should hire me for this because, even for myself and I think a lot of women entrepreneurs have that problem where you’ll say oh yeah, this is what I do, and like it’s kind of casual so what would be your advice for somebody who is really trying to put themselves out there and say, pay. This is what I do, you should hire me for this. Where’s that transition of just letting somebody know what you do, and then encouraging them to make it happen for you?

Jammie: I guess, knowing who you’re talking to is important, just meeting someone casually in your knowing like, oh, that could be a contact, but you’re at a dinner party of a friend’s or something that’s not the proper time to pitch yourself, actually letting someone know what you do is perfectly acceptable in that scenario, but when it comes to pitching yourself. This is what those people do when you pitch to a PR person. A big part of it is just, I really preached about dressing for the job you want, who is the woman you want to be. Are you dressed as her. Let’s start with the morning, right before you send that pitch email, if you’re not dressed as her. You’re not going to feel confident pitching as her. You’re going to feel like an imposter. So start your day. By getting dressed as her, and then that almost fake it till you make it right. This is science it’s when we have a visual in front of us when we look in the mirror and we see that professional successful woman, versus, oh my gosh i My hair is a mess I have no makeup on and I’m wearing my husband’s sweat pants, and you’re trying to pitch being a successful woman from your computer, it computes in your mind that I’m not her, I’m not worthy, I’m not, they’re not going to pick me, but going into it prepared with confidence and dress that way will change your whole approach to I’m worthy of this, I’m going to get this job, and I’m going to tell them why they need me. So you can’t be shy about like, I think it would be great if you could showcase me on your segment and we could maybe talk about this. What you do is you like, Hi, My name is so and so I’ve been doing this include all the years or months or whatever or put it quantify in a way that makes sense, and you’re not lying, but include their friends you’ve been doing it for free forever or, you know, volunteering somewhere include those hours, or months or years or what, however you can quantify, to make the most sense, include that in your pitch and be like, This is what I do this, how long I’ve been doing it here are my three ideas about how it can serve you, you want to serve that person, not just say like, I’m so amazing and you need me, but here’s what I can do I’m amazing and you need me because I can add this value to your audience. And then, this is how you get in contact with me. And because you’ve prepped your mind and you’re ready for the day and you’re dressed as the woman you want to be. You have that extra boost of confidence to tell someone else instead of like casually mentioned like maybe you should think about asking me onto your show. Or, as to hire me. You have to have that competence in your pitch. 

Dana: Yeah, I think that is so important and to just have that confidence to give yourself any sort of physical confidence right getting dressed, getting ready doing the things I definitely need to do more but I think I’ve been better about it you know as I do have to leave the house to work most days, but I think it’s something that’s easily overlooked, especially during this pandemic. There has been no other time in the planet’s history, where people you know are dressed appropriately from the waist up, right as they’re on Zoom, but it does and I think what you do too, which I want to talk about really helps, especially moms balance like, Okay, I want to look cute and feel good but I also need to be practical like I’m picking on my toddler 37,000 times in a six hour period, this morning I can’t wear, You know what I like to dress as for my job, you know what I mean. So I think, can you talk a little bit about that, while we’re on the subject so right now you are focusing on styling for moms 

Jammie: Yes. So there’s three things you need when it comes to having personal style that is going to prevent you from feeling like an imposter one, and to serve you right because getting dressed should be simple, and it should serve you well. So if you have this Pinterest board of all these celebrities and like Kim Kardashian. Yeah, she’s a mom but yes she wears heels and body con dresses why because she has a lot of help. So, your life doesn’t look like hers or you’re swiping up on Instagram buying that cute little crop top because you’re just thinking, well I’m gonna get in shape this summer and live at the pool and my nannies gonna take care of my kids when I walk around looking cute and cropped up. That’s not gonna serve you, you’re swiping up and buying things that accumulate in your closet and getting dressed is still super frustrating for you because you’re not aligned with what your actual life is. So my top three things that you have to have in line to have personal style, be authentic and truly personal style. You have to know your style type, you have to know your body shape and you have to dress for the life you have. So there’s this fine line if you’re looking to have a different career path. There’s a fine line for dressing for the life you have and dressing for the life you want. So, you have to inject some of that and it can come in baby steps right, if you’re a stay at home mom of a toddler and a newborn and you also want to be a professional. Well for me I am a professional I am a successful business owner but I don’t wear high heels and white button up shirts and blazers and pencil skirt is not what I need to wear. So, whatever that job looks like for you, you just need to elevate at least a little bit, and maybe it’s that when you put the baby’s down for bed, you do slip on something cute or you do pop on some bright lipstick or do your hair or whatever it needs to be when you’re in that mode to make you feel like that person so your activity, and your outfit need to match. So I highly doubt that you’re going to be like sending a pitch while you’re changing a diaper right, but you still while you’re changing that diaper, it still helps you to have that self confidence and go about your day to be dressed, and not to be fluffy, but it still has to work for changing diapers, not for starting a runway. So you have to be realistic and practical about what activities do I need to do, how do I get dressed for that.

Dana: And so, for moms who hear you and understand totally what you’re saying, what, how do you help them figure that out, right, so as a stylist, you obviously know all the answers for a lot of these questions, but how do you, what are the first steps to walk a mom through like okay we need to elevate what you got going on here, what are the first steps that you walk them through

Jammie: first step is changing your mindset. The very first step we take before we walk into anything is like, why are you doing this, why do you want to get dressed. What’s your pain point like what is frustrating. What do you want what kind of life do you want, who do you want to be, you need to know those questions and be clear on who you want to be and why you want to get dressed. Beyond like, oh I want to look cute like the Instagram Mom, that’s. That sounds fun, but that’s not going to hold you to your goals on a Tuesday morning when your newborn didn’t sleep and you’re just so tired and you want to give up on life, Right. So, holding on to your why, like, oh I want to be this for the sake of this podcast if you’re, we’re talking about moms that want to transition from one job to their passion. You want to be a photographer, you want to be a wedding photographer, that’s what you want to do. So, if you are just dressing like a self loathing from the hot mess. Mom, how are you ever going to transition from that to wedding photographer right because you can’t wear that, when you’re telling people, right, what do you do. Oh, I don’t know I just changed diapers all day. Well let’s start by changing that I’m a stay at home mom I raised my children, I am the CEO of my home. I am the manager of my home, I manage schedules and nourishment and education and character like you really have to change your mind from I’m just a mom that changes diapers, And I don’t deserve to get dressed, to, I’m the CEO of my home and my life, and then I’m working towards being a wedding photographer, knowing your why and your goals is going to help you get dressed every day because if you know who you want to become and how you want your daily life to go. It’s a lot easier to get dressed, knowing this is going to prime me for the day. This is gonna prepare me I’m going to be able to be proactive instead of reactive all day, and I’m gonna have more time and more confidence in working towards my goals, you’re also gonna have more energy to work towards those goals when you are literally in your hot mess sweat pants and haven’t washed your hair in 17 days, you are not in the mindset to think like, oh yeah let’s transition to business now, it’s not gonna happen. You’ve primed your mind for comfort and laziness and Netflix, and we need those days and that’s fine I’m not asking for perfection here, right, if you never train yourself to be proactive instead of reactive you’re just never going to meet that goal. So the very first step is your mindset. The second step is getting clear on your style. What do you like to wear, versus what you think is cute. What do you actually love to wear on your body. And then you need to know what is my actual body shape so I can know what silhouettes are most flattering on me. And then you need to know what are the top three things I do in life, that I need to get dressed for so that my closet can be prepared for those three things first, then we’ll worry about the fun stuff. So you have your style aligned with who you are and who you want to be versus just this like, Oh She looks cute I’ll wear that. Well what if your life doesn’t look like hers and your body doesn’t look like hers and she wears boho flowy clothes but you’re curvy and short and so that’s just not going to look good on you, and you’re going to feel like a failure, and you’re going to blame it on yourself instead of realizing, oh it’s just that I actually appreciate how those clothes look on her, and don’t appreciate how they look on me and don’t feel good on me. And so you start blaming yourself in your body and not being good enough because you weren’t actually clear on the foundations of style, before you got dressed.

Dana: Yeah, a lot to unpack there 

Jammie: yeah sorry, it was 

Dana: no no Don’t be sorry at all, because it was just like truth after truth after truth because I think so many times you know especially in the age of social media where you’re seeing all these you know adorable little Instagram moms and like just being so put together and all the things, it’s easy to say, Okay, actually that Instagram mom looks functional, like I could get that, but then you’re not taking the account into account body type at all, or your true style right or like Hey, she looks really cute and it’s functional, but my friends would be like What are you, you know, and I think recognizing that whole trio of of components is really important so I appreciate that so I know now you have a style guide out for moms right,

Jammie: yes.

Dana: Yeah. So tell me how that that side of your business works because obviously you do personal consulting that we talked about but you are also providing things for moms online too,

Jammie: yeah when I had Max, my three and a half year old. I was like, okay, really hard time navigating, getting dressed and I’m a professional like this is what I do for a living. And I remember discovering my first pair of good American high rise jeans I never want high rise jeans in my life. Never. My stomach area was never my problem areas was when my thighs, and high rise jeans weren’t really a thing, again, until recently. Yeah, we are going on a trip to California and I was like, I just need some clothes that look like a normal person I can’t wear leggings again, like I’m really just not leggings person anyway. So I was like, Okay, I’m gonna give this a try, and they changed my life. They were four sizes bigger than I was before, baby, I did not want to spend the money on them, but I did it, I was like I have to have a few things and I found functional shoes and a way to wear tops for my body shape and these high rise jeans and I was like, Oh my gosh, I think I figured something out, I think I could help moms in particular. So once I honed in on that and did a few years of working one on one with just moms, I turned it digital so now I do have a style guide. I have like a free version of a style guide for moms, and then I have a course for moms that are the very basic foundation of style, and I have a membership, it’s like a continuing education, so it’s more like a one on one in a group setting and we do weekly master classes and guest speakers and done for you outfits for the season and trends and all of that so I kinda have a little bit of something for everyone.

Dana: Yeah and I just want to say with Mother’s Day coming up, if your husband doesn’t always maybe go to something very thoughtful but maybe not necessarily something you want or need maybe, um pitch to him that hey this is something I’m really interested and I’d like to be able to you know learn more, they’re not going to argue with you, like, if you’re trying to level up you know your your style and how you’re looking I think if I said that to Sean that I wanted this for mother’s day he would be to your website faster than I could blink or get to my next sentence so I think a good idea for moms to that, if you need something like this, Jamie has it. So you mentioned your son Max so tell us what your life looks like right now like, now that you’ve done the grind and, you know, spent years in the hustle, what is your day to day look like with your family,

Jammie: it’s still it’s very different every day. and if you’re looking into entrepreneurship. Just know that Instagram does not give you the real story I think I was like in shock of what the amount of accountability, it takes, scheduling, and just really treating it like a true business I noticed the days that I treated it like well I’m gonna go to lunch with my friends and I’m going to I made no money. Right. I made enough to get by, but I didn’t make any real money. And so my day to day life is right now I am prepping for maternity leave, I’m currently pregnant. And I just built this digital course. And so I’m improving that and I am setting myself up for a break so I am actually in the Super hustle mode right now I’m working weekends and nights and all of that right now. It’s a growth pain, I recently went through a huge growth spurt that I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know I didn’t know that this is what it was look like I can’t get back to the emails. I can’t get back to all the DMS, I can’t say yes to all the speaking stuff, it almost came out of nowhere and it’s what I’ve prayed and asked for for years, and when it comes, I’ve noticed, it’s not the success that you’re chasing the success comes and you don’t feel any different, the success comes and you’re like, Oh, I hit that goal. Oh, I made more money last month that I’ve made in my business, combined for 10 years. But that doesn’t make me feel like a new person. It’s the way that you’re serving people and the feedback that you get, and the freedom of time with your family, for me that’s what feels like success. The money is amazing, knowing you’re successful and you can keep going and provide for your family. But what’s the most successful is being able to be flexible with what I do with my time, so my day to day just really looks different depending on the season of the season, preparing for maternity leave, and I plan to slow down for a few months and then I’ll pick right back up in fall, but because I’ll have systems in place. My plan is to go back to working 9am to 3pm, Monday through Thursday. It is not glamorous, I work in fashion. Fashion is probably the least glamorous, or the whole industry out there, you think it’s glamorous, because what you see on Instagram or in a movie or something. I sit at this desk every day, there’s nothing glamorous about it I am doing admin stuff and creating content and what you see on Instagram of like fashion moms are blocked off days of content creation. They got dressed, they have a new outfit on for every photo that is not real life, these people actually wear like the same clothes daily in real life. It’s just creating content so it’s things look more beautiful on Instagram than they actually are in real life.

Dana: Yeah,  they definitely do and I think being honest about that and knowing that like hey it’s not glamorous but it has now eventually gotten to the place where like I am able to take a maternity leave. Now granted, it requires hustle from you and only you. Yeah, to get to that point, which is important to note too, but you can go ahead and take that and then when you come back, you do get to pick your hours, and yes it does impact how much money you’re gonna make and it does impact the way your life looks but if, like you mentioned, if you do the hustle upfront and have those systems in place, you can cut back on your hours and not take a huge hit, financially, and I think what you were saying about success and making impact on other people’s lives. I noticed that before I even looked at my bank account, I was like, Oh, they do correlate, like that’s awesome but it wasn’t that I noticed the financial aspect, you know, going up before I realized that I was, hey, like really having an impact on people so

Jammie: I think being able to redefine success in your own terms, is possibly the most rewarding thing about entrepreneurship. Yep, my success in your success pilot totally different.

Dana: Yeah, and that’s fine. Yeah, and nobody’s telling you like, Hey, these are the things you have to do the accolades, you have to get to get to the next successful level right you’re not being promoted to the next thing which by the way is awesome. There’s nothing, nothing wrong with reaching for goals of being promoted in your corporate career at all, but oh, that’s your version of access, that’s fantastic, but it’s also okay to define it other ways.

Jammie: Yeah, I mean, my job is mostly working with people who are in the corporate world, reaching another or it was until it went digital that those are the women I worked with and their goals were the corner office being president, you know VPS, and that was great. That was their goal my goal was to, you know, name my time and my price, and be able to help them get to their goal. So I think that a huge part of the journey is also being humble and realizing, whatever you learn. Always soak up from other people if it weren’t for mentors and people pouring into me. I would not know what I know or have opportunities I have like, be kind to everyone and serve everyone. Because then you can just keep pouring out to people who are coming after you, and you can teach them, And then there’s gonna be people that lift you up even more. My business did not take a major pivot until someone else took me under their wing. Someone else came along and said, I want to invest in you and I want to help you get to the next level. And when I talked to my friends who have businesses that make the goal amount of money I want to make and the level and reach the level of people they all say, Oh yeah, it was when this one person took me under their wing and whether it was a podcast or blog post or a launch together whatever that was, that was what pivoted my whole business. And then, because I felt kind of guilty like why does this person want to help me so much. Oh, I’ve also been helping people along the way, right, bring people with you, because you want other people to bring you with them, and it all works together.

Dana: Yeah and I think just being genuine too, in that you have to be, you know you’re taking people and you’re helping them and so much of my industry like in the photography industry is so competitive, like so so so very competitive and that’s ridiculous. There are so many people,

Jammie: you can’t take everyone’s picture.

Dana: No you can’t, and you all have different ideal clients and different styles and different you know personality aspects that make your business different from theirs and so there’s absolutely no reason to not be kind to everybody.

Jammie: Yeah, there’s just not, you don’t know who’s gonna turn around and you know make or break you. I mean one person can’t fully make or break you you have to have a good product and good service and all of that, but you’re going to want the person that can make you and you’re not going to want the person that’s going to break you because you treated them horribly so yeah, being kind and genuine and always willing to serve is key to success.

Dana: Yes, well, Jamie. Thank you so so much for coming on chatting with me i. So I normally do a solo episode after a guest interview and I like pull something from that we talked about in this episode and kind of deep dive onto it, and I’m gonna have a really really really really hard time picking what to talk about next week so thank you so so much for being here. Tell everybody where we can find you, your website your Instagram all the things.

Jammie: Thank you for having me. That was a fun conversation. My website is just my name Jamie baker.com. It also needs a lot of updates, so part of the growing pains, and my Instagram is where I hang out the most it’s at Jamie Baker underscore I think, but I also have a really fun Facebook group called the mama form style group, we have a couple 1000 moms who just post their outfits and encourage each other and give style advice to each other and sometimes I give them a little challenge or we do a little class in there so that’s really fun too.

Dana: Okay, cool. Well, thank you so much and I can’t wait for everybody to hear all the great insight you have into your little world you have going on.

Jammie: Thank you.

Dana: I am so honored you spent any minutes of your day listening to me babble about living this entrepreneurial life amidst the chaos in any mom’s normal day to day. If you love what you’ve heard and read more snippets of knowledge about this mom Boss Life, head over to our website at amidstthechaospodcast.com for show notes and links to anything mentioned in today’s episode. If you’re really feeling inspired, it would mean the world to me and my family if you take the time to write in with you. Thanks for joining me, amidst the chaos.